sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy...

free time on my hands while my son sleeps. such a rarity. it's been a few days, so i felt compelled to put something here. the moodiness has passed, thank god. i can't stand that melancoly shit after a while. i'm sure that contradicts with something i said previously, but i don't much care. besides, the sorry souls who waste the time to come here and read this don't care anyway. the world has settled back into a comfortable lull...i have a lovely job on the weekends, and my days are filled with motherly/wifely duties. bland to some, but it suits me just fine. nothing intense going on in my mind today, as i am still unwinding from the weekend visit with the family. once again, i have fooled my mother into thinking i am near perfection. i guess that's the way parents view their kids. at least it's a vast improvement from our relationship in years past. but then, i pushed as hard as i could, and she responded by tying christmas ribbon from my doorknob to the bannister so i couldn't sneak out at night. i was a horribly naughty teenager, but the lessons i learned serve me well. at least i can look back and see that it wasn't completely wasted. ~disclaimer: kids, don't smoke cigarettes or pot. these are what are called "gateway" drugs. they lead to all kinds of nasty stuff. in fact, bypass drugs altogether. i do not endorse getting high.~ me, i was bright enough not to stick a needle in my vein, and i knew when too much powdery stuff up your nose was enough. saved myself the trouble of becoming the addicts that some of my former acquaintances became. still seems so bizarre to me, that the people i shared so many good memories with could deteriorate so quickly. one night, you do some crank and move on as if nothing's changed, while your friends are telling you how they broke into their neighbors' house, stole a bunch of shit, sold it, and went on a week long binge. then you hear they moved up to chicago to be club kids and are smoking crack with maria. weak minded, i guess. life is to be lived, you have to experience things in order to understand them, but my god...you have to draw the line somewhere. and then there was that halloween with the so-called coven, where i was invited to be initiated into the household by way of erotic biting...ah, memories...