the world is shifting, i can feel it...some people are pulling away from each other and moving in new directions, some people are leaving us behind and moving on completely, willing or not...maybe it's the changing of the seasons come early that's affecting us all. i'm always sad to see things change. i want to freeze moments in time and stay there, to wrap up in the comfort that happiness and friendship and love can provide. but i know better...things are changing for me too. i always feel like spring is my rebirth. the earth is blanketed in freshness, everywhere you turn all you see is green, and the smell...well, it smells green, that's all. people are coming back into my life who i long ago thought lost, and i'm really excited about that. renewing the bonds of friendship and all...but still, i loathe letting the present ones go. i don't let go...i'll more likely grasp at grains of sand that slip through my fingers. the tighter you hold on, the more you'll loose...
what kind of fool am i, to still occasionally clutch at ghosts and dreams? when will i stop fighting what has to be and just make my peace...? ~winces~ that's not really true either - i'm usually in the here and now, content, but every now and then i get this longing. how can you not periodically dredge up old passions and pretend for a moment that you could embrace them again? maybe the better question is, when will i stop fighting what was, and just let the memories be that comfort it should be instead of attaching the wistfulness to it?

it's not what you thought when you first began it...you got what you want, now you can hardly stand it though by now you know...it's not going to stop, it's not going to stop, 'til you wise up...