ouch.

sometimes you know it's best to let things go. the time has passed, and there's no going back. such is life. but it doesn't make letting go any easier. the knowledge that you're doing the right thing doesn't help dull the ache, and all you're left with is that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, along with a sense of emptiness, because you know what you had is lost and there's no bringing it back. i've been here before, i've made it through...but that doesn't mean i like going back there again. we come to rely on certain things. we hand over our hearts, trusting that what we've come to cherish will always be there, a permanent fixture in our lives. but nothing lasts forever...we allow ourselves to be misguided, to want what isn't ours, to want what isn't possible. it weaves its way into your dreams, and though part of you knows, always has, that the fantasy will not and can not be reality, we still cling to the illusion, because even as a farce it still makes us happy. the unkept promise makes it worth it. when the time comes to put aside these things, it's even harder than giving up something tangible. this is part of ourselves we cut off. you give up something that was always unseen, yet it still had the power to move you...the last thing you hold in your mind before you drift off to sleep, the unbidden smile it brings to your face in the middle of your humdrum day. maybe this is why it hurts so much...you're letting go of something you never had, yet in your mind it was always yours to begin with. it's hard...you want to fight, you want to find some reason to change the outcome, anything to let you cling to whatever frail strands are left. and when you realize with finality that it's all gone, that the last fleeting moments have passed by and there truly is nothing left to hold on to...that's when it really starts to hurt. ouch.