what is it, that makes me hang on to old guilt? i look back, and i see so many things i'm not proud of. something in my memory keeps the less than perfect memories in my mind far longer than the sweet ones. what will it take, to purge myself of these things? i know, i know...they won't fade until i'm ready to let them go. am i not the person i think i am? deep down, am i cruel and hurtful as opposed to kind? do i decieve myself that well? i don't want this anymore. this whining, moping, this self-depricating side of me. just let me get past it, lick all the old wounds and let them finally heal. stay bittersweet, but without the power to hurt.