Why do you think you're here?

I woke up with a lot of stuff floating around in my head. I'll see what I can manage to get out.

Naomi. Certain people have problems wih her, though God only knows why. I can only guess that they don't know her like I do. We've never met, but she is without a doubt the truest, most loyal friend I have ever had. Her life is upside down right now, and she's under an incredible amount of pressure, but she still manages to be there for me and my stupid little problems. She's being my shoulder to cry on when it should be the other way around. It's ridiculous the way she gives of herself, and I love her for it. If I were gay, she would be the one.

I have so much. I have the husband, the son, the job, the friends... all the things I want out of life. I should be happy. I am happy. But there's still something that's nagging at me, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm not satisfied yet. Sure, I don't have every little material thing that I've set my sights upon, but that's not it. There's something missing, and I haven't figured out what it is. It's bothering me. A lot.

It's warm today. (Warm in Minnesota in February is around 40 degrees.) Almost no-coat weather. Birds are chirping in the courtyard outside my patio door. Spring can't get here fast enough for me. Maybe some of what I need is just to see things growing again. Spring always makes me feel better. I love Winter, but I've already moved past it and now I'm just aching for it to be over.

I wish I was wiser, and didn't put myself in places where I never wanted to be. I wish I didn't feel like there were walls between me and so many other people, so I could say everything I wanted and not have to worry about what they might and might not want to hear from me. I wish we were like bunnies, like Naomi said, and we could just frolick around with our chosen bunny mates but still throw in a little Vin Diesel on the side if we wanted. Damn. What is it with me? I used to be all about the skater boys, but now my tastes have gravitated toward bald-headed guys with muscles. I suppose they could have hair and that would be alright, as long as they had the body... and maybe an accent. I'm so typical.